9-11

I wasn’t going to write a blog today because I wasn’t sure of what to say.  Addy’s spending the day with my mom, so I’ve been catching “Remembering 9-11” shows all day, crying, thinking about what it felt like back then, and realizing how it feels now. 

Everyone will always talk about where they were that morning.  I was in Mrs. Watkins’ English class, getting ready to watch the Channel 1 news (which we did at the end of first period every day).  They broke in with news of the first tower being hit.  We all watched live as the second tower was hit.  I remember seeing quiet, little Mrs. Watkins cover her mouth with her hands and begin to cry.  I didn’t really know what it meant or what would happen next, I just knew I was scared and that my world would never be the same.  We spent the rest of the day in the cafeteria, watching CNN news coverage.  I panicked as the Pentagon was hit and classmates started talking about how close we were to the Rock Island Arsenal and that it would “definitely be a target.”  My mom was working on the Arsenal.  More than anything, for me, that day was about fear.  I felt so small.

I can't believe it's already been 10 years.  Having children has put September 11th in a completely different light for me.  I don’t even want Addy and Cohen to know that such evil exists in our world.  I look back at that day now hoping that they never have to experience that kind of fear and with sadness for how it changed our country.  But we can’t live our lives in fear…I’ll teach them about peace and love and hope and humanity and living life to the fullest.

And, seriously, I can’t even watch the commercials they’re playing today without completely losing it…